Have you ever imagined or thought about why there are rising cases of divorce, even in the church today? How did we get here, and how can we come out of that? What would the picture look like in the next 10 years if deliberate steps are not taken?
Take a look at these few statistics. According to Ghana’s 2021 Population and Housing Census, more than 553,000 Ghanaians are divorced, and over 400,000 are separated. Also, a University of Cape Coast study noted that many marriages are failing, and divorce is becoming common among Christians in Ghana, despite church teachings on lifelong marriage. Another research on charismatic churches in Ghana reported that pastors are becoming increasingly burdened with cases of divorce and remarriage among active church members, showing that the issue is no longer limited to non-Christians.
These statistics are certainly alarming, and this is the time religious organizations, including the Body of Christ, must rise to the occasion and deal with the root causes. As part of efforts by The Navigators to provide a biblical solution to address this critical issue, the ministry organized its maiden Singles’ Retreat themed “Dating and Marrying without Regrets: Purpose over Feeling.” The event brought together many singles, some couples, and a cross-section of virtual participants from different locations.
The program sought to provide biblical perspectives and a platform for critical questions to be addressed. It was also designed to clarify relationship issues at the early stages before marriage. Thankfully, the keynote speaker, Doc Nimako-Boateng, shared extensively from biblical wisdom and personal experience using anchor scriptures such as Proverbs 4:23, Romans 12:2, Genesis 2:18, 26, and 2 Corinthians 6:14. In his address, he indicated that God is the One who instituted marriage and therefore remains the ultimate authority on the subject.
Key pointers from his presentation were that marriage is God’s design and that it is a covenant and not a contract. He emphasized that marriage is missional in nature, in that its purpose is beyond having children. According to him, your home is your first missional field, where you intentionally contribute to the advancement of the Kingdom of God. In that light, a spouse should be seen as a co-labourer, which is why believers are instructed not to be yoked with unbelievers. He also added that love is not merely an emotional feeling but a choice, because feelings are fleeting. They are nice but not rational; they only provide you with data, not direction. He went further to provide a framework for Christian dating that leads to marriage.
The first thing, he explained, is for one to begin with God in the place of prayer. Individuals must settle identity issues in Christ and cultivate a deep relationship with God. Another principle is to prioritize character over feelings because it is character that sustains marriage, not feelings.
He also encouraged participants to guard themselves against sexual immorality of all kinds and maintain physical purity. It is equally important for people to maintain emotional boundaries while dating. Again, participants were encouraged to seek wise counsel from godly men and women because, as the Bible says, in the abundance of counsellors there is wisdom. The last thing he talked about was taking a long view of marriage and considering its lifelong implications.
In conclusion, he encouraged participants not to rush into a relationship or marriage but to enjoy their singleness by using the season to develop themselves and deepen their walk with God. He ended by remarking that all relationships must be built with a good purpose and a solid foundation, as Jesus illustrated in Matthew 7:26–27.
The panel discussion also featured two couples, Mr. & Mrs. Boamah and Mr. & Mrs. Asante, who shared openly about their journeys to marriage and how God has been helping them over the years. They indicated how personal prayer, godly counsel from friends and older people, patience, and ultimately obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit have been crucial and continue to be essential in their marriages. Mr. Boamah personally mentioned how a simple phrase, “it is not life-threatening,” from Doc Nimako during one of their Bible study meetings, has changed his perspective on how to handle situations in his marriage, especially dealing with anger.
To further create room for all questions to be addressed and for more interactions to take place, there were breakout sessions where participants shared experiences and asked questions, which were addressed by experienced couples. These sessions provided practical insights and created a safe space for honest conversations around relationships and marriage.
Indeed, the event was not only successful based on the number of participants who attended, but more importantly, participants left the meeting empowered and with renewed convictions about how they can build better relationships and friendships that lead to marriage without regrets. Keep praying that the fruits of this program will not only impact those who attended but will also trickle down to future generations.
